Sitting in the Audience at the Jerry Springer Show is as much fun as I thought it would be.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
I wasn’t sure it was going to happen but it did, and it went off without a hitch. On Wednesday, March 14, 2007 at 1:50 in the afternoon I sat down in the first seat, third row center, with Bob in the seat beside me in the audience at the Jerry Springer show at NBC Studios in Chicago, IL, and had the time of my life.
We arrived at NBC studios early, after having lunch at a very cool McDonalds On Ohio decked out with TV’s everywhere, $2,000.00 Retro furniture, and what seemed like every happy meal toy ever made on display. It was unlike anything either of us have ever seen. We sat on the second floor in a booth overlooking the Hard Rock Cafe Guitar. It was very cool. Bob wanted to keep the Parking Validation Stamped “McVoid” (For free parking) but they kept it.
We arrived at the NBC Studios on Columbus Ave. in Chicago Shortly after 12:00PM and parked in the Studio Parking lot. $17.00 for up to 8 hours seemed like a relative bargain for parking. It’s just the way it is. Just like New York. We were going to see Jerry Springer. We would have paid more.
We arrived up on the first floor and went to the security desk and informed the security guards we were there to see Jerry Springer and that we were on the “Out Of State” Guest List to which we were informed to go wait in the line that was formed outside the doors on Columbus Ave. and that when we were called inside they would get our tickets for us.
We went outside in the 30 degree weather and got in line behind a very annoying group of 3 guys and 4 women who did nothing but smoke, yell, and act stupid the entire time in line. I was beginning to wonder if they were there to be “On” the show but Nope, they were there to sit in the audience, Just like us. After asking us where we were from and how long it took me to get tickets and a few other small questions they got the hint to leave us alone and didn’t bother us again. I thank them for that. People began getting in line behind us almost immediately.
After approximately 15 minutes in line Bob informs me he left his wallet in the car because he didn’t think he would need it? Apparently he assumed only everyone else needed to show ID to get in. Not him. You have to love him. After a couple of minutes of wondering what to do we decided to have him run down to the parking garage and get his wallet then rather than wait until we got inside. Luckily he got down there and got his wallet and came back up before we even got inside. Things were looking good.
About 5 minutes later we were called inside to enter the line and at that time we were given our tickets and asked to make them out with our Names, Signature, and date and time and gave our ID’s to the Security Guard. Another Guard verified we were on the list and then we waited in line some more to go thru the Metal Detector. There is a large photo of Jerry Springer on the wall, along with may other photos of other NBC Stars, Ellen, Jay Leno, Allot of local Chicago shows, etc. All smokers were forced to put their cigarettes and lighters in baggies and leave them with the guards until after the show.
Once thru the Metal Detector we were led to an Elevator and advised we were being led to the Waiting Room upstairs on the second floor and the “Rules”; Stay in assigned seats, Where the bathrooms are, etc.
Once in the “Waiting room”, A white, Bland room with the Televisions on Soap Operas, we were told to stay in the order we came in and led to our seats; Metal Folding chairs lined up in rows of 3. A Sign on the wall proclaimed the rules to be a member of the audience of the “Judge Mathis” show. Apparently “Judge Mathis” is taped at NBC Studios as well. Bob was lucky enough to be seated beside our “Friends” from outside who would not shut up. I could see the pain and suffering on his face. Thankfully I was seated in the next row behind him. Here we would wait to be led into the Studio and seated for our turn to be a member of the Studio Audience of the self-proclaimed “Worst Show on Television”. I was so excited. Bob was getting a little annoyed at the wait. They were running late so we waited in the waiting room longer than usual, about 45 minutes. Then they started bringing the group of people who were last to come into the waiting room into the Studio. These are the people who are seated in the back of the Studio Audience. I knew things were beginning to move along and was getting even more excited. Shortly I would be sitting in the audience of the “Jerry Springer Show”, The show I have watched and Loved since it has been on the air.
Finally it was our turn. We stood up and were led to the line to enter the studio. As we were walking into the studio I could hear the “Jerry Springer Show” blaring. As we entered the studio I could see that the “Noise” was Jerry Springer’s “Too Hot for TV” playing on two TV’s hanging ont he walls of the studio. How cool was this? I was there, standing in the Studio of the “Jerry Springer Show”, the show I have watched Religiously for the last 15 years. I could hardly believe it.
As we were led in a woman doing the seating acknowledged us with the words “Two Males” and directed us to the first two seats in the third row. Now I was even more excited. I was in the first seat of the third row. Bob in the second seat right next to me. I was definitely going to be able to shake Jerry’s hand. How cool was that? My excitement kept growing. As “Too Hot For TV” continued blaring, people continued filing in and being seated. I began to wonder where all these people were going to fit. Although on Television the Springer studio looks quite large, in person the studio is much smaller. Television really does make everything appear larger.
Finally after being seated approximately 15-20 minutes Todd Came out. He explains to us that he is going to talk to us for a few minutes and then bring Jerry out. I was very surprised to see that he looks Exactly the same in person as on TV. After introducing himself (As if he needed an introduction) he sat down in the chair and started telling dirty jokes and just joking around with the audience for about 10 minutes. It was very cool. Then he explained to us the procedures we were to follow; We don’t call anybody a “Whore” unless he says it first because he says “That person may not be a whore”. When he raises his hands we are to clap until he tells us to stop. Same with chanting “Jerry Jerry Jerry”. We are only allowed to say “ooh” and “aahh” anytime we want. Anything else is ONLY if he does it first. In order to get Jerry Beads a female must show her breasts for a certain amount of time to qualify (Men don’t qualify because there is “no risk” in a man taking off his shirt, according to him.) All Coats and Hats must come off and be placed under our chairs. Cell phones must be turned off. They have had so many problems with Cell Phones ringing during taping he explains, that the new policy is if your cell phone goes off goes off during taping they confiscate it and mail it back to you in two weeks. Needless to say, Cell phones going off during taping of the show is a “No-No”. Completely understandable. If your going to comment make sure you have something original. Don’t just say “You Suck” etc. Been there done that. They only want good put downs and arguments. Nothing but the best. Finally after going over all the rules and joking around with us for a while Toddie finally says “Let’s give a big hand for Jerry Springer” and walks to the side of the stage. And then it happens.
Jerry Springer himself walks out to resounding applause and adulation. The audience continues clapping as Jerry Stands there acknowledging the applause. Dressed in a suit and tie, He also looks almost exactly the same in person, although some makeup is apparent. He looks great.
The audience stops clapping after a minute or so and Jerry thanks us all for coming and begins with his own brand of jokes, most rather unfunny but very Jerry-like. The crowd laughs anyway. After all, this is Jerry Springer. This is who we’ve come to see (along with some Trailer Park Trash fighting), The tickets were free (Which Jerry himself jokingly reminds us), and we are having the time of our lives. Jerry drudges on, making joke after dirty joke. He jokes about the 30,000 people he has had on the show in the last 16 years. He jokes about Todd and of not being very attractive but “filthy rich”.
Then he opens up to questions from the audience and surprisingly, NOT ONE of us raises a hand to ask a question. “Anyone?” he says , “Does anyone have a question for yours truly?” he says, looking rather surprised himself at the lack of questions and curiosity, to which finally someone in the back of the studio raises her hand. After Jerry points up to her and says “Yes”, a girl stands up and asks “Will you sign my tittie?” A member of the audience in the front row hands Jerry a sharpie marker and Jerry jokes with the girl for a minute before declining. Todd later tells the crowd that the word “titty” is definitely not allowed to be yelled during the show and also admonishes the audience to “NOT” ask to kiss Jerry or another member of the staff during the “questions from the audience” segment. They “Don’t like that” he advises. Who can blame them. Would you want to be kissed by a complete stranger? I certainly wouldn’t. And even if I did I DEFINITELY would not want to be kissed by someone at the Jerry Springer Show. Would you?
Jerry then exits the stage and Todd returns to talk some more about what we are and are not to do and advises Jerry will re-enter through the usual right door with the signature “smoke” and will shake hands and the show will begin. The excitement in the crowd is evident. The show is about to begin.
Then it happens. The stage lights get bright. The Jerry Springer Theme begins playing and then Poof, smoke comes through the door and Jerry reappears and walks to the audience and begins shaking hands, as per usual Springer beginnings. As he rounds the corner and gets almost to me, Bob jams his hand in between Jerry and I and shakes Jerry’s hand before me. I have to hand it to him, he wanted to MAKE SURE he got a chance to shake Jerry’s hand. Like I said, you’ve got to love him. After shaking my hand and saying hello Jerry moves on to the TelePrompTer and begins reading his introduction. It is all so surreal. Jerry introduces his first guest, a guy who hates his cousins jailbird boyfriend. Apparently he was brought out as Jerry was shaking hands and doing his intro because I never saw this guest come out.
The guests were typical Jerry Springer guests. No surprises there. Besides the aforementioned cousin, we also met his Drama Queen cousin, her Jailbird boyfriend who does “Nothing Wrong” except for the fact that he goes to jail “All the time”.
Next we get to meet a rather nasty looking toothless woman who was there to win back her Lesbian lover, whom she met at of all places, a parenting class. Her Ex Lovers current boyfriend “Stole” her from her, she says. After her Ex-lover comes out and tells her as rudely as possible that she was just “Using her” for whatever she could get out of her and that she needed to be drunk to do anything with “that” we are lucky enough to meet her boyfriend, whom i’m not sure knew how to speak. I believe he may have said a couple of words but that’s it. He was literally dumb as an ox.
Mixed in with this is the usual fighting. As crazy as it sounds, it’s all real. At least it all “seems” real. I guess only they know for sure.
The commercial breaks are approximately 30 seconds to 1 minute long. Jerry walks off stage, and the lights are dimmed. The guests are brought into the doorways and the security and camera men stand around chatting. An older woman brings out cups of water each break for the guests.
Strangely, Steve Wilkos didn’t come out until the show was 3/4 over. He looks exactly the same in person as on TV, as does all of the security men. Executive Producer Richard Dominick wasn’t there. His assistant (The Blond) filled in for him.
There were a few good questions from the audience, including one from a girl in the front row who got into a good fight with one of the guests. Although we wanted to say something, we decided to keep our mouths shut.
During the final break Todd lets us know that when we come back Jerry will do his final thought. For some reason the first two rows are to stay seated when we return but the rest of the audience should rise and clap as usual. Jerry will then do his familiar “Take care of yourself, and each other” final thought. We are then to clap for 45 seconds total as the show is coming to a close. The entire final segment goes off without a hitch.
Once it’s over and the lights dim Jerry says goodbye to the audience and waves and exits the stage. We’re told that there will be items for purchase in the hallway and that once we all file out we can return to the studio and have pictures taken with Steve as well as have him sign his photograph if purchased. I assumed cameras would not be allowed in the studio. For this reason we left our camera in the car. Bob was not happy about this. Live and learn.
As we filed out into the hallway Andrew and another security guard we selling T-shirts, Jerry Beads, Photos, etc. T-shirts cost $20.00 (I got one). Jerry beads, photo’s etc. are $5.00 I got 2 photos and 4 sets of beads).
Tony stood at the doorway being as annoying as possible. “Ho Ho Ho, Get your goods to go”, “I don’t come cheap, but I come”, are a couple of the chants he was heard yelling as we were filing out as well as while we were waiting to get back in the studio to have Steve autograph the photo Bob bought of him, while still annoyed that I made him leave the camera in the car . After what felt like an eternity listening to Tony we were finally able to go back into the Studio to meet Steve and get our autograph. We were the first ones back into the studio. Steve was waiting on the stage and greeted Bob by asking who to make the picture out to. Steve signed the picture and handed it back to Bob and shook his hand. Next I greeted Steve and also shook his hand and we left the studio with memories we will remember forever.